When I received The Text from Rosewhip telling me I’d made the roster for LRD’s bout against London’s Rockin’ Rollers, my response straddled a blurry line, somewhere between ‘sheer elation’ and ‘fighting an urge to shatter my own kneecaps with a hammer so that I wouldn’t actually have to do it.’ Falling just short of shouting ‘Me! Me! Look at me! Look! Miss!’ at every practise, I had been working hard and was kinda hoping it had been enough to get acknowledged and earn myself one of those snazzy Rotten Rollers t-shirts that I had so envied up until that point.
The weeks leading up to the bout were hard; constantly feeling like I had to justify my position on a team alongside such awesome derby players as Gorgon Roller, Rushin’ Doll and Bruise ‘Em Banshee (to name a select few!). Mistakes magnified themselves into catastrophies, tears were shed, a general crisis was had.
To cap it all off, as if the decision of what tights to wear wasn’t enough for a bout virgin to contend with, an old back problem flared up. More tears were shed and I seriously doubted that I’d be able to play: two days before the bout, I could hardly get out of bed without screaming in pain and certainly couldn’t muster the strength to strangle the osteopath when she said ‘No Way!’ to me playing the bout. Long story short… a visiting friend had, for 10 years, managed to hide the fact that she’s some kind of under-cover Masseuse Extraordinaire. Back fixed. On with the show.
Now all I had to worry about was a) getting there on time, b) remembering all my kit and c) London Rockin’ Rollers. Trust me to time my debut bout with a meeting with LRR. Notorious as some of the hardest-hitting derby girls in the UK, tales of injuries sustained at boot-camps, inflicted by LRR players, reverberated round my head. And let’s face it, my Body Shop eyeshadow and waterproof mascara was never gonna win a fight against their AWEsome war paint.
I was surprised at how un-nervous I was, to start with. I could rest easy, safe in the knowledge that I wouldn’t be on track that much. The first whistle went, first jam was underway and I could hear my name being spoken… by the line-up managers. They wanted me on track in the second jam… I was expecting, like, 15-20 mins to, er, watch the game, kick back, relax? No? Seems they had other plans for me. It wasn’t until I was sat in that chair that the nerves kicked in. I gripped that damn chair so hard whilst I looked round for the nearest fire exit, that I nearly took it on track with me.
Clinging desperately to Rushin’ Doll’s assertion that she didn’t think of me as a new player, I headed for the pivot line, praying that LRR didn’t have my picture pinned to the centre of their collective mental dartboard. Casting Hayley aside, I quickly channelled the spirit of Livid Doll.
Cross fade camera pans to Roxy Carolla……….
I was nervous; my heart was in my mouth, I had never been so terrified. 3 times I nearly went on the track but was held back (line up changes people in the box, ya know the score). But now my time was here…..What the hell was I doing here? 35 year old mother of 2, lining up on the pivot line with Chernobelle, on track with the likes of Gorgon Roller; up against one of the toughest leagues in the country! What was I thinking? I don’t even have a tough name! Then the whistle blew and I was off, I was part of it and I have never been so exhilarated! And then I got sent off. I thought it was after 5 seconds after the whistle I was assured afterwards that I did make it round the track a few times before getting a major. Back on again in the next jam and I felt I made no impact, sat on by the Mighty Mighty Bash, and “gazelled” by the LRR blockers my rookie status was showing through! I didn’t want to let the Dolls down.
I had two more chances in the pack I had to show that my training had been worth it and that rostering me wasn’t some insane mistake. All I needed to do was hold that line and that’s what I did for those jams I was working with my pack and stopped the jammer getting through! I focused on working with Rikkter Scale and Rigor Morris…. everything else was a blur, but one thing is for sure I want more! Watching the Rotten Rollers square up against the Rockin Rollers and give them a run for their money was twice as thrilling when watching from the team bench. Skating out and feeling the cheer wash over me will be a cherished memory forever. I’m going to be getting better and training harder, I’ve had a real taste of Roller Derby adrenalin and it tastes good!! And to think I couldn’t even skate in August 2009!
Skaters: Livid Doll #45 and Roxy Carolla #0405
Posted by leedsrollerdolls 
Saturday 8th November saw myself some other Leeds ladies and Action men heading up to Middlesbrough as part of the very privileged audience that watched the Middlesbrough Milk Rollers take on the Sheffield Steel Rollergirls!
